


Overqualification in Adventuring

by OleanderToxin



Series: Aubergine Tales [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Commissioned fic, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Gen, Myrh has a way with words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OleanderToxin/pseuds/OleanderToxin
Summary: Myrh Dyhr is a well dressed, snarky, sassy Drow man with an eye for shiny gems.  He asks the precocious adventurers to assist him in obtaining a beautiful emerald that has much more power than he's letting on.  A quick oneshot of my D&D players going on a trip with an NPC I've created.  Commissioned for a Friend.





	Overqualification in Adventuring

There's something to be said about traveling with your employer. Especially if that employer is a snobby, snarky, rude drow with an eye for detail and a tongue sharper than their dagger. As the rest of the party walked along a dirt road, kicking up rocks and gravel into their shoes, Myrh rode by with them on a spectral steed, blacker than pitch with a white mane and glowing red eyes, all to similar to that of the drow. It was kind of too much, even for Kieri, who loved the older wizard's antics.

Their job was to collect a gemstone from a tower north of Davon. The stone, Myrh had explained, was a rich green emerald about the size of a fist, and was worth more than the group could possibly imagine if sold to the right collector. The stipulation for them going to get it was Myrh had to come along too, something he agreed to most readily, but now, as they moved alongside him in the woods, one could very well see this was a mistake to make.

“Gods, you all are fucking dull as a box of rocks, aren't you? Don't you talk at all? Or like, have drinks to pass around? What kind of party are you that doesn't drink on the road?”

“One with a kid in it?” Asorith looked over to David who was still far too young to imbibe, despite the fact that he had risked his life in a deadly fight against creatures far too numerous to name in this story outright. Also dealing with what could only hope to be the worst kind of romance known to man.

“Fuck, I forgot about that. What a bunch of dullards.” Myrh groaned as he looked up the road, the tip of the tower coming into view over the horizon. “Whatever, we'll be there soon anyways, so it doesn't matter.”

“What kind of people do you hire for this sort of thing anyways, Myrh?” Kieri didn't have to look up much to catch his eye. “I mean, why ask us? Were we the only ones available?”

“Pretty much. You're all a little too overqualified, too. I usually hire a bunch of deadbeat losers to get what I want and follow behind them in secret. When they die at the last battle, I come in, grab what I want, and then leave without having to pay anyone anything.”

“Isn't that nice,” Asorith growled between a clenched jaw, glaring at the man as he rode on his phantasmal mare.

Myrh simply shrugged at the response. “That's business, bay-bee.” The nonchalance in his voice was heavy. He had done this sort of thing quite a bit it seems.

Coming close to the tower, Myrh counted out three trolls guarding the entrance of the place. Almost in an instant, a bolt was loaded and fired off towards the group, catching one of them in their eye as they fell to the ground, dead easily from the power from Kieri's crossbow. “Shit, nice.” He gave a quick thumbs up and watched as Bu attacked directly after, slicing into the trolls with her talons, leaving the bodies there at the door.

As they entered the building, Morana was able to knock a troll in the kneecaps using Big Smashy, while Asorith managed to get it in gut with their halberd. Myrh could only whistle as he stood back, watching the group as they worked. As the first floor was cleared with another shot by Kieri's crossbow, he gave them a surprised clap. “Well done, everyone, I do believe you are the most competent set of heroes I've sent out on a fetch quest in a long time.”

“Are... We supposed to feel good about that?” David frowned, his hands still smoldering from the fire that he had sent towards one of the trolls.

“Of course, it was a compliment was it not?” Myrh smiled, and continued through the tower, heading to the stairs to the second floor.

The next few floors were more of the same, Bu took one out with a well placed radiant blast, while Morana got another. It wasn't until half way up that the team saw a neon green arrow pierce the air and soon after the heart of a monstrous orc in front of the group. Looking to the back of the party, Kieri saw Myrh smile wide, his fingertips still glowing from his magic. Kieri could only watch, mouth agape. “Well, that was something one doesn't see every day.”

“Melf made a decent spell all those years ago. You should look into it, they're useful when you need them.” Myrh blew a kiss at her before heading past the orc, stepping on and over him with his heels as he climbed the stairs in front of the group.

“Remind me to never piss him off,” David whispered as he watched the drow man disappear into the stairwell.

“Same fucking hat,” Asorith gave a curt nod as they agreed, climbing up after him.

More trolls and orcs came after them and more and more were swiftly dealt with by the five and their extra plus one, and the final door came in place. Asorith reared back and with a strong hoof kick, the door toppled over, kicked off its hinges. Turning around to face the noise was a massively tall Ogress in what could only be said to be her Sunday best. A long, white and pink satin dress with overlays of beautiful chiffon and lace, embroidered flowers and stars all up the skirt. The sleeves of the dress were off the shoulder and billowed out a bit before being cuffed at the wrist, made with more sheer tulle. To top it off was a wide brimmed and immaculately decorated hat, with trimmings of feathers, flowers, foliage from all over, all painted in an exquisite opalescent pink color, topped off with the largest, and most brilliantly green gem any of the group had ever seen.

The Ogress growled, and gave a call out for her guards but was met with silence. Stepping forward, Myrh simply gave the Ogress a smile and snapped his fingers, and from the tip of a perfectly manicured talon, a line of red electricity hits the Ogress, knocking her back and causing her body and clothing to burn away into a fine gray powder.

Wide eyed, the group watched as Myrh came over to the Ogress' corpse, kicking the dust away until the green gem was in sight. He picked it up, giving it a quick once over, before sighing and tucking it away in a pouch at his hip. “Well, that was lackluster. You'd think she'd have a better one since I have the rest. I guess they're getting rarer.”

Turning to the group, Myrh raised his hand as if to leave before stopping for a beat. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Here's your payment. It's barely a fraction of what this thing costs so no harm no foul, right?” He smiled, tossing a sack of coins to the party before snapping once more, blinking out of existence.

Watching agape, Kieri picked up the pouch of money to find it filled with gold. “Did...” She began, looking at the spot where Myrh disappeared from, then back to the group, “did he ask us along to just jerk us around?”

“Seems that way. You wanna take the lower floors with David?” Asorith kicked over the dust on the ground, beginning to rummaging through the Ogress' things that hadn't been disintegrated along with her. Kieri shrugged and nodded, heading down the long flight of stairs with David and the rest. This tower must have more secrets that it holds. Time to start looting.


End file.
